Have you ever felt like you should be able to "just be happy"? Like you have no real reason to be unhappy because other people have it much worse than you do? Do you sometimes browse the internet or social media and wonder why your healthy eating habits, excercising, and meditation are not enough to make you happy all the time?
I am here to tell you that suffering is normal and that there is no way to prevent it from ever happening. All the emotions and sensations and thoughts that feel negative and that you want to get rid of are normal. They are a part of life. You might not like it, but that is one thing you can't change. If you feel like you should be able to get rid of them, ask yourself how many times you have tried and how many times it has worked? Did you manage to get rid of them and, if yes, for how long? Could it be that you only distracted yourself and that they will all resurface once you stop doing it?
A lot of articles we read online make us feel like we just need to change the way we live, our diet, our activities, and throw in some positive affirmations and gratitude lists every day in order to be happy. And while it certainly is good to live a healthy life and focus on gratitude and trying to stay positive, it becomes a burden if this is seen as the one and unique acceptable path and doesn't leave room for the whole range of emotions, thoughts, and experiences that arise.
Toxic positivity is the overgeneralisation of a happy, optimistic state that results in the denial, minimisation and invalidation of the authentic human experience - The Psychology Group
Emotions and thoughts are not bad. They are neutral until we tell ourselves that they are bad. Our emotions can be negative because we associate them with unpleasant feelings. And our thoughts can be negative when we engage in negative self talk for example. But the thoughts and emotions in themselves are just that, thoughts and emotions. They are not facts or absolute truths. They are just fleeting things in our minds that can disappear just as quickly as they appeared.
However, when we are convinced that they should not be present, we begin resisting them, which amplifies them. So the next time you feel an unpleasant emotion or a negative thought pops up in your head, try to focus on acceptance instead of resistance.
Feel free to let me know if this is something you have tried before and you are still struggling with or what you have done that has helped you distance yourself from a toxic positive mindset! If you feel like you might need professional help, you can click on the button below to book your free first session with me!
Comments